Sunday, November 18, 2007

Recapturing the Wonder

The title of this blog is such a cliche. You've heard it countless times, used in different ways, for different reasons. It can be cheesy and overly sentimental. However, I thought of these exact words this morning when I realized something.

Laura was reading to me. It was the lesson she had prepared for the Garden at church (our children's ministry). She was talking about how there are many good people in our lives, but that Jesus was different, in that he was more than a merely good person. She spoke of the Transfiguration. I remembered hearing about that when I was young. Who knows when I first heard it (probably in Sunday school in elementary school)? She spoke of Jesus being the Son of God. She spoke of how we are invited into a friendship with Jesus and how special that is.

And I just felt normal. "Yeah, yeah, that's true," I thought to myself.

I told her it was good and well-done (which it was). But I was sitting there thinking about how nonchalant I had become. Yes, I know all these things and I believe them. But, I sit there hearing all the facts and it doesn't move my heart. All these magnificent things don't cause my heart and imagination to soar. It worries me.

Is it because I've heard it since I was a kid, surrounded by it at home and once a week at church (or more if there was VBS [Vacation Bible School; I don't want to assume everyone knows] going on that week)? Is it because I'm not connecting to God through the Holy Spirit as often as I should? There's nothing major in my life that has disappointed me recently. There's nothing I'm bitter at God about that I can put a finger on. Is it just a collective bum-out at life, in general?

I don't know.

I want to recapture that sense of realizing who God is, day to day. Sure, I know it's like any relationship, to a degree. You don't live in a constant state of high. But, I remember a time when I was young (junior high) and there was a girl who I noticed. I remember knowing about her and wanting to meet her. I remember finally forging a relationship, to the point where if we saw each other in passing, she would say 'hello.' I remember the thrill of realizing that I had come from a place of not being in relationship at all with this girl to being in a place where she actually knew who I was. It made my spirit leap. My head was dizzy. It was the greatest thing in the world.

If I can just have that light dawn on my heart again, I know a revitalization will take place. It's not all about feelings or living on mountaintops, but these things are an integral part of a vibrant walk with Christ through life.

1 comment:

carolineb said...

You just read all our mail and put into words what I'm feeling. Here's a quote that's up on my cabinet door:

"Even in the miserable guilt we feel when our hearts are lukewarm, the glory of God shines. If God were not gloriously desirable, why would we feel sorrowful for not feasting fully on his beauty?"

I love your heart, Sean.